Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive JUNK
Are you actually letting your friend step inside that vehicle? Yes, that one. The one with the moss-covered roof and the mud smeared windows. I know that car is not a clever advertisement for the green movement. There’s WAY too much black smoke billowing out of the exhaust pipe. Is that a mushroom I see growing up there?
Look! There’s never an easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it. Friends are supposed to protect each other from foreseeable dangers and mistakes. We adjust the mirrors of each others life in order to expose blind spots and save one another from possible emotional, physical, and financial wrecks. You do your best to prevent your buddy from getting in the car with a drunk driver. You warned your friend the last time her boyfriend showed you unsolicited affection when you were all out together. Come on, you even tell them when that new pair of jeans makes their bum look fat, or they have a piece of green spinach stuck in their teeth.
I know your friend has an unhealthy attachment to strange-looking vehicles. For some reason, they are constantly drawn to purchase lemons – and not the ones that grow on trees. You were at their house the last time they pulled in the driveway with the Batman-fin bearing Camaro. Sure, it was one-of-a-kind, but the first strong windstorm tore those suckers right off the back and left the car looking like some Batman movie lovers had come to their street and wanted some realistic movie memorabilia to show off to their friends. They have a hard time getting rid of these junkers. As a friend, you need to help them.
Please, do your friend a favor and hold a sit-in on their front lawn. Litter their yard with home-made signs that convey to him or her just how you feel about their peculiar junk car obsession. Make tee-shirts and bumper stickers; create a Group page on Facebook with the intent of spreading this one message to the world:
“FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS DRIVE JUNK”
Finally, do this one last thing. Put a Junk Car Portland business card in a very obvious place…maybe next to the martini they have each afternoon when they come home from work to relax. I’m sure sooner or later they will listen to the wise counsel of a very concerned friend.